|
Post by Cheshire cat on Feb 26, 2005 15:32:25 GMT -5
Heres one i got from dogma:
A guy walks into the bar and drinks about 16 pints. The bartender says "Okay mr. it's time to go home. I think you've had enugh". The guy says "Oh come on! Can't i just have one more?". The bartender says "What do you want?" He glares at him and says says "I would like a holy bartender". "Whats that? I've never heard of it." says the tender "Oh my god? You've never heard of a holy bartender?" Says the guy as he pulls out a gun and shoots the bartender. "See? Now i got a holy bartender!" Says the guy.
|
|
|
Post by Yautja100 on Feb 27, 2005 20:43:17 GMT -5
LMFAO. ;D
|
|
|
Post by Cheshire cat on Feb 28, 2005 8:23:33 GMT -5
Well it was a bad joke and this is a bad jokes thread.
|
|
|
Post by setg'-in-yeyinde on Mar 6, 2005 19:45:27 GMT -5
i havent seen you before general greivous but anyway:this kid's assignment was to learn the first 4 letters of the alphabet, so he asks his pissed off mom"mom hwats the first letter of the alphabet?"his mom yells"shut up!shut up!"then the kid asks his dad who is watching football"whats the second letter of the alphabet?"his dad yells"fortyeight!fortyeight!then the kid asks his little sister who's being potty trained"whats the third letter of the alphabet?''sister sings''in the toilet.inthe toilet''now he asks his brother who's watching batman''whats the fourth letter of the alphabet?''brother sings''nananananananananabatman!batman!later at the school his teacher says"whats the first letter of the alphabet?" the kid says "shut up! shut up!"the kid goes to the principalehow old are you the princaple says, the kid yells fortyeight!fortyeight!the princaple asks where he lives he says in the toilet in the toilet.the princaple finally asks whats your name the kid says nadandadandanadanada batman! batman!
|
|
|
Post by Masurao on Mar 11, 2005 15:00:27 GMT -5
Here's an odd little one:
A millionare is hosting a grand party in one of his mansions, many guests are invited to join the celebration. At one point he requests for the music to stop and asks for the attention of his guests.
"In my pool there are 30 Nile crocodiles that I am breeding. Whomever jumps into the pool, swims to the other side and survives will win all of my cars. Any volunteers?"
The guests remain silent.
"Whomever jumps into the pool, swims to the other side and survives will win all of my cars and airplanes. Any volunteers?"
Still no volunteers so the millionare insists.
"Whomever jumps into the pool, swims to the other side and survives will win all of my cars, my airplanes, and my mansions..."
At that moment a splash is heard, someone is in the pool. The scene is gruesome with tails and teeth flying everywhere, all going for the lone man. He defends himself as he can: kicking, punchin, biting...anything to get the beasts off him. After a few minutes of violence and terror, out comes the brave man from the other side filled with cuts, barely alive and almost naked.
The millionare congratulates him and asks:
"Where do you want your new cars?"
"Thank you," the man replies, "but I don't want your cars."
Surprised, the millionare then asks:
"And your airplanes, where do you want them?"
"Thank you, but I don't want your airplanes..."
"And your mansions?"
"I already own a lovely house and I don't need yours. I don't want anything from you."
Impresed, the millionare asks:
"Well if you don't want anything that I offer, what do you want?"
The man, irritated, responds:
"TO FIND THE BASTARD THAT PUSHED ME INTO THE POOL!"
|
|
|
Post by Kane935 on Mar 11, 2005 22:25:47 GMT -5
Dumb,Dumb jokes
|
|
|
Post by setg'-in-yeyinde on Mar 21, 2005 22:06:22 GMT -5
warning!this contains lots of curses and swears!
we have a thousand missiles and are ready to fire, so we decide that those chinese son of a bi*tches are going down, a fat sumo man yells sh*it sh*it who the f*uck is shooting us?!oh well, fire missles!then a french guy yells sh*it guys, the missles are coming.fire our sh*it! then a french ladie says but im le tired the other guy yells oh well h
|
|
|
Post by setg'-in-yeyinde on Mar 21, 2005 22:10:03 GMT -5
warning!this contains lots of curses and swears!
we have a thousand missiles and are ready to fire, so we decide that those chinese son of a bi*tches are going down, a fat sumo man yells sh*it sh*it who the f*uck is shooting us?!oh well, fire missles!then a french guy yells sh*it guys, the missles are coming.fire our sh*it! then a french ladie says but im le tired the other guy yells oh well take a nap then fire missiles! and oustralia is still down there saying wtf m8,mars is laughing at us, and now US is thinking we are so f*ucking dumb.then us californians separate and meet up with hawwaii and then there comes alaska and whe are chatting around.THEE EEND!
|
|
|
Post by Bleeding Heart Alchemist on Mar 21, 2005 23:49:44 GMT -5
Sorry I haven't contributed anything but all I have are filthy sex jokes
|
|
|
Post by setg'-in-yeyinde on Mar 24, 2005 16:56:27 GMT -5
any joke is good
|
|
|
Post by Masurao on Mar 24, 2005 21:51:07 GMT -5
warning!this contains lots of curses and swears! we have a thousand missiles and are ready to fire, so we decide that those chinese son of a bi*tches are going down, a fat sumo man yells sh*it sh*it who the f*uck is shooting us?!oh well, fire missles!then a french guy yells sh*it guys, the missles are coming.fire our sh*it! then a french ladie says but im le tired the other guy yells oh well take a nap then fire missiles! and oustralia is still down there saying wtf m8,mars is laughing at us, and now US is thinking we are so f*ucking dumb.then us californians separate and meet up with hawwaii and then there comes alaska and whe are chatting around.THEE EEND! I know where you got that, it's from a flash movie called "The End of the World." Funny flash actually.
|
|
|
Post by setg'-in-yeyinde on Mar 24, 2005 22:03:49 GMT -5
I know where you got that, it's from a flash movie called "The End of the World." Funny flash actually. yupyupyup.
|
|
|
Post by Masurao on Mar 25, 2005 12:24:22 GMT -5
Lol, love your avatar man. 8 bit theater rocks!
|
|
|
Post by setg'-in-yeyinde on Mar 25, 2005 15:16:11 GMT -5
sorry masourou, I justr changed my avatar, do you like my new one?
|
|
|
Post by Masurao on Mar 25, 2005 17:26:20 GMT -5
sorry masourou, I justr changed my avatar, do you like my new one? *Thumbs up* I have many pics drawn of the grim reaper and a few collections of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. This avatar rocks too!
|
|
|
Post by setg'-in-yeyinde on Apr 2, 2005 2:18:30 GMT -5
heres some weird ones,guess what?chicken butt guess where?chicken bear, guess who?chicken poo,guess that chicken mat
|
|
|
Post by Kane935 on Apr 2, 2005 14:18:27 GMT -5
Chicken Poopopopopoopoopopopo!
|
|
|
Post by Mr.Damage on Apr 11, 2005 14:17:24 GMT -5
Set'g you post wierd jokes
|
|
|
Post by Cheshire cat on Apr 11, 2005 16:16:56 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Col. Kroenen (retired) on Apr 11, 2005 16:26:18 GMT -5
warning!this contains lots of curses and swears! we have a thousand missiles and are ready to fire, so we decide that those chinese son of a bi*tches are going down, a fat sumo man yells sh*it sh*it who the f*uck is shooting us?!oh well, fire missles!then a french guy yells sh*it guys, the missles are coming.fire our sh*it! then a french ladie says but im le tired the other guy yells oh well take a nap then fire missiles! and oustralia is still down there saying wtf m8,mars is laughing at us, and now US is thinking we are so f*ucking dumb.then us californians separate and meet up with hawwaii and then there comes alaska and whe are chatting around.THEE EEND! Isn't that from The End of the World? From Albinoblacksheep.com?
|
|