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Post by Spooky on Oct 22, 2005 1:37:09 GMT -5
Wait wait, he gave the dog a blow job? That's funny but it's not one of those jokes that are clever in a way. Some of these are hella funny. That knock knock one was fucking good!
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Post by Cheshire cat on Oct 22, 2005 15:30:41 GMT -5
Wait wait, he gave the dog a blow job? That's funny but it's not one of those jokes that are clever in a way. Some of these are hella funny. That knock knock one was *pauk*ing good! Hehe, doggie get-some. Icky hehe.
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Post by zehava on Oct 22, 2005 15:48:02 GMT -5
Yea I thought you would like that one Cheshire
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Post by Setg on Oct 30, 2005 5:51:50 GMT -5
Ok as we're heading towards xmas soon thought i'd be the first with the seasonal joke.
It's Christmas Eve, and a young girl is stood crying on top of a bridge, looking down over the ledge, preparing to jump when she hears a voice behind her. "Are you ok miss?" asks the voice. She turns round and there's a guy in a Santa Claus outfit stood there. "No' i'm not" she replies. "Firstly my boss fired me this morning. Then when i got home i found my boyfriend in bed with my best friend. Then when i left the house and drove off i ran my dog over on the way out, so i've decided to end it all." "Don't jump yet miss, let me help" replies the man. "What can you do - you're just a guy in a Santa Claus outfit!" she snorts. "Ah but young miss - i AM Santa Claus, and every year i get to use my power to help someone's Christmas be magical. When you get home, your boss will have rang offering you your job back with double your salary, your boyfriend will have seen the error of his ways and bought you a $2000 engagement ring, and your dog will be alive and well waiting for you on your doorstep." "Th-Thank you so much" the girl stammers in disbelief. "How can i ever repay you?" "Well" replies Santa, "We don't get everything in The North Pole - i don't suppose a blowjob is out of the question?" "Well you have saved Christmas for me so i don't see why not." replies the girl, and gets down to it. After she's finished, and Santa is doing himself up he asks "By the way, how old are you?" "I'm 24" she replies, "why?" "24 years old and you still belive in pauking Santa Claus!!" he laughs walking off.
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Post by Setg on Oct 30, 2005 12:11:09 GMT -5
What do you call a monkey with a hand grenade BABOOM!
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Post by Cheshire cat on Oct 30, 2005 17:24:46 GMT -5
Ok as we're heading towards xmas soon thought i'd be the first with the seasonal joke. It's Christmas Eve, and a young girl is stood crying on top of a bridge, looking down over the ledge, preparing to jump when she hears a voice behind her. "Are you ok miss?" asks the voice. She turns round and there's a guy in a Santa Claus outfit stood there. "No' i'm not" she replies. "Firstly my boss fired me this morning. Then when i got home i found my boyfriend in bed with my best friend. Then when i left the house and drove off i ran my dog over on the way out, so i've decided to end it all." "Don't jump yet miss, let me help" replies the man. "What can you do - you're just a guy in a Santa Claus outfit!" she snorts. "Ah but young miss - i AM Santa Claus, and every year i get to use my power to help someone's Christmas be magical. When you get home, your boss will have rang offering you your job back with double your salary, your boyfriend will have seen the error of his ways and bought you a $2000 engagement ring, and your dog will be alive and well waiting for you on your doorstep." "Th-Thank you so much" the girl stammers in disbelief. "How can i ever repay you?" "Well" replies Santa, "We don't get everything in The North Pole - i don't suppose a blowjob is out of the question?" "Well you have saved Christmas for me so i don't see why not." replies the girl, and gets down to it. After she's finished, and Santa is doing himself up he asks "By the way, how old are you?" "I'm 24" she replies, "why?" "24 years old and you still belive in pauking Santa Claus!!" he laughs walking off. LOL thats a famous one retold. ;D
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Post by Psychoman on Oct 30, 2005 17:31:58 GMT -5
any joke is good if it has oral sex in it.
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Post by Spooky on Oct 31, 2005 0:05:38 GMT -5
Really now? How about I find Beast somewhere and get him to think something up. You wouldn't be laughing then.
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Post by Random_Logic [William_Clinch] on Oct 31, 2005 6:27:06 GMT -5
Because it wouldn't be funny? any joke is good if it has oral sex in it. Why did the chicken cross the road? for a blowjob
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Post by Cheshire cat on Oct 31, 2005 10:15:24 GMT -5
any joke is good if it has oral sex in it. LOL yeah, sure.
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Post by Spooky on Nov 1, 2005 1:21:12 GMT -5
Because it wouldn't be funny? any joke is good if it has oral sex in it. Why did the chicken cross the road? for a blowjob I can't believe I laughed at that
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Post by Cheshire cat on Nov 1, 2005 18:06:09 GMT -5
Because it wouldn't be funny? Why did the chicken cross the road? for a blowjob I can't believe I laughed at that LOL ditto. Dunno why, twas stupid, yet funny. Random never ceases to make my giggle.
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Post by zehava on Nov 2, 2005 6:27:36 GMT -5
I can't believe I laughed at that LOL ditto. Dunno why, twas stupid, yet funny. Random never ceases to make my giggle. I have to agree with Michael I actually laughed at that one.
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Post by Mr.Damage on Nov 18, 2005 16:10:15 GMT -5
its not that its funy i was laughing at the randomness ans the stupidity of it
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The Punisher
Warrior
Mao...Saddam...Osama... Live your life while you can because I'm coming for you...|--|red
Posts: 104
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Post by The Punisher on Nov 23, 2005 12:05:36 GMT -5
This ones good: A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top." Lmfao that ones funny!
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The Punisher
Warrior
Mao...Saddam...Osama... Live your life while you can because I'm coming for you...|--|red
Posts: 104
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Post by The Punisher on Nov 23, 2005 12:15:13 GMT -5
I have one:
This lady was at her house in bed with their neighbor's husband. Her husband was at work and always seemed to tired to had sex with her so she started an affair. One day, the womans husband came home early so she put flower on the neighbor and told him to stand still like a statue. When the husband came home and noticed the statue he said, "hello honey, nice statue, whered you get it?" The the lady replied,"I saw the one the neighbors had so I thought I'd get one of my own. So she walked off into the bedroom. The husband walks up to the statue, takes out his lunch and hands it to the statue and says" When I was over at the neighbors house, I had to stand still for 14 hours and nobody gave me food."
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Post by younghunter on Nov 23, 2005 20:50:52 GMT -5
Umm that was kinda funny, but not that funny.
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Post by Psychoman on Nov 23, 2005 22:32:47 GMT -5
did you make that up? better than any joke i could make up. I'm not that funny really....
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The Punisher
Warrior
Mao...Saddam...Osama... Live your life while you can because I'm coming for you...|--|red
Posts: 104
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Post by The Punisher on Nov 24, 2005 0:31:50 GMT -5
No, my friend told me that and a few others
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