What people think is true (Thanks to movies)

[E-Stalin [Orthrus]]

In the interest of some counter-intuitive educational humor, I am making this thread to compile a looooong record of every single time anybody on this forum has ever said something that was wrong or untrue, and they believed it would work because of the movies. Or because of pop culture. Or because of general lol-cows.
Not that I'm naming names, only the incidents. Of course, I am not counting deliberate over the top psychosis like the Brawl RP or made up sci-fi, but other stuff is up for grabs.

I shall continue to update this every time it happens again. In the meantime, here's what I've come up with so far.

----

1. You instantly freeze to ice in space.
2. "Self-defense" is not a legal concept.
3. TV screens shatter on impact.
4. Cars can survive jumps over hills and ramps.
5. Cars can survive drives through walls.
6. Cars can survive gunfire.
7. Cars can survive running people over.
8. Cars survive anything.
9. Cars can stop bullets.

10. SEALs carry revolvers, parachute from helicopters, and work alone.

11. People shoot missiles at parachutes.
12. You can survive explosions 5 feet away.
13. Shooting grenades makes them blow up.

14. Shooting guns = you point at something and automatically hit it.

15. Generals are frontline infantry.

16. People can carry assault rifles, machineguns, shotguns, and ammo for all of them at the same time. Easy.

17. Freezing yourself makes you invisible on thermals.
18. Shooting flammable stuff makes it explode.
19. Bullets can "through and through" your shoulder or leg and you won't die or be seriously injured.

20. Zombies can be killed by a shot through the temple.
21. .22s bounce around inside people.
22. Acid denies gravity and travels sideways.
23. Carbon Monoxide is actively toxic, like nerve gas.
24. Extension: One tank of CO can kill an entire well ventilated building.

25. Things like chairs or tables can be nailed into concrete.
26. Swords/knives spark off eachother.
27. Bullets spark when they hit things.
28. Sawnoff shotguns are legal.
29. Shotguns shoot bullets.
30. Ethanol knocks people out when inhaled.
31. The US Army uses USPs.
32. Magazines are called clips.
33. You can suppress any pistol or rifle known to man.
34. RPGs are just grenades on sticks.
35. Nitrogen freezes upon contact with air.
36. Nuclear reactor melt-down means it explodes.
37. Radiation doesn't kill you.


To be continued.

[E-Stalin [Orthrus]]

38. Humans can bite through skin.
39. Syrette injections only work on special points of the body.
40. You can tranquilize absolutely anyone with a single dart.
41. Head trauma can knock someone out for hours without any negative side effects.

42. Hollow points penetrate armor.
43. The .44 Magnum is the most powerful handgun ever made.
44. Zubans are real cigars.
45. Mutations make you superpowered.
46. You can insta-heal without eating food.
47. Conservation of mass doesn't apply to mutants.
48. You can "cure" mutation by injecting an "antidote".
49. "Disinfectant airlocks" are useful even if wearing clothing. Furthermore, they serve some imaginary purpose without the addition of a full Decon course.

50. Gas masks stop nerve agents. (And anything else too.)
51. You can get blown out into space and come back without decomp sickness.
52. Opening a plane or spaceship will cause everything to get sucked out.
53. Things can burn on planets with no atmosphere.
54. Car engines can function in a vacuum.
55. Defib can stop cardiac arrest. (GET DA PADDLEZ!)
56. Cartridges are called bullets.
57. You're supposed to take both dog-tags from dead soldiers.
58. One can jump through glass walls and windows without injury.
59. Arterial bleeding can be stopped by wrapping cloth around it.
60. EMPs crackle with much lightning and electrciity.

[Cerberus]

Okay, you have to send me the topics where these were present:

22. Acid denies gravity and travels sideways.
23. Carbon Monoxide is actively toxic, like nerve gas.
24. Extension: One tank of CO can kill an entire well ventilated building.

30. Ethanol knocks people out when inhaled.
31. The US Army uses USPs.

39. Syrette injections only work on special points of the body.

42. Hollow points penetrate armor.

57. You're supposed to take both dog-tags from dead soldiers.

59. Arterial bleeding can be stopped by wrapping cloth around it.

I'm in need of light comedy. XD

[Still Churchill]

Nov 25, 2010 19:51:23 GMT -5 E-Stalin [Orthrus] said:

1. You instantly freeze to ice in space.
2. "Self-defense" is not a legal concept.
3. TV screens shatter on impact.
4. Cars can survive jumps over hills and ramps.
5. Cars can survive drives through walls.
6. Cars can survive gunfire.
7. Cars can survive running people over.
8. Cars survive anything.
9. Cars can stop bullets.
10. SEALs carry revolvers, parachute from helicopters, and work alone.
11. People shoot missiles at parachutes.
12. You can survive explosions 5 feet away.
13. Shooting grenades makes them blow up.
14. Shooting guns = you point at something and automatically hit it.
15. Generals are frontline infantry.
16. People can carry assault rifles, machineguns, shotguns, and ammo for all of them at the same time. Easy.
17. Freezing yourself makes you invisible on thermals.
18. Shooting flammable stuff makes it explode.
19. Bullets can "through and through" your shoulder or leg and you won't die or be seriously injured.
20. Zombies can be killed by a shot through the temple.
21. .22s bounce around inside people.
22. Acid denies gravity and travels sideways.
23. Carbon Monoxide is actively toxic, like nerve gas.
24. Extension: One tank of CO can kill an entire well ventilated building.
25. Things like chairs or tables can be nailed into concrete.
26. Swords/knives spark off eachother.
27. Bullets spark when they hit things.
28. Sawnoff shotguns are legal.
29. Shotguns shoot bullets.
30. Ethanol knocks people out when inhaled.
31. The US Army uses USPs.
32. Magazines are called clips.
33. You can suppress any pistol or rifle known to man.
34. RPGs are just grenades on sticks.
35. Nitrogen freezes upon contact with air.
36. Nuclear reactor melt-down means it explodes.
37. Radiation doesn't kill you.
38. Humans can bite through skin.
39. Syrette injections only work on special points of the body.
40. You can tranquilize absolutely anyone with a single dart.
41. Head trauma can knock someone out for hours without any negative side effects.
42. Hollow points penetrate armor.
43. The .44 Magnum is the most powerful handgun ever made.
44. Zubans are real cigars.
45. Mutations make you superpowered.
46. You can insta-heal without eating food.
47. Conservation of mass doesn't apply to mutants.
48. You can "cure" mutation by injecting an "antidote".
49. "Disinfectant airlocks" are useful even if wearing clothing. Furthermore, they serve some imaginary purpose without the addition of a full Decon course.
50. Gas masks stop nerve agents. (And anything else too.)
51. You can get blown out into space and come back without decomp sickness.
52. Opening a plane or spaceship will cause everything to get sucked out.
53. Things can burn on planets with no atmosphere.
54. Car engines can function in a vacuum.
55. Defib can stop cardiac arrest. (GET DA PADDLEZ!)
56. Cartridges are called bullets.
57. You're supposed to take both dog-tags from dead soldiers.
58. One can jump through glass walls and windows without injury.
59. Arterial bleeding can be stopped by wrapping cloth around it.
60. EMPs crackle with much lightning and electrciity.

^^ Case in point: Why I watch good movies, and not shitty action movies where things make no sense. ^^

[E-Stalin [Orthrus]]

61. Ammunition doesn't have weight.
62. By extension, one can carry 900 rounds of .308 without any hindrance.
63. Car windshields can shatter.
64. All guns "click" when out of ammo and the trigger is pulled.
65. All guns also "click" when the safety is on and the trigger is pulled.
66. The use of knives is an "art" and can be "mastered" by an "assassin".
67. In extension, a "master" of blades need not carry firearms, as his knives will obviously win in a firefight.
68. Laser sights lead back to the source in a straight, visible line.
69. Scopes can have virtually infinite (up to 100x) magnification and retain a bright and wide field of view, have no parallax, and a practical eye relief.
70. People tap magazines against palm or head to ensure they're fully loaded.
71. 9mm is a gun.
72. You, if unarmed, can survive an attacker armed with a knife.
73. By extension, you can disarm an attack with a knife.
74. Grabbing the slide of a handgun stops it from firing.
75. Tuberculosis has no treatment ("cure").
76. Night-time hunting for deer is legal in the US (CA).
77. The Coriolis effect matters in long-distance shooting. (Thank you, call of fucking duty).
78. Sawn-off shotguns are desirable and special, and so insanely more useful than a proper shotgun that even Marines should carry them.
79. You should move your head INTO a punch to make it less effective. Somehow.
80. Flash suppressors will prevent an enemy from seeing muzzle flash.
81. Firearms have distinctly visible muzzle flash even during the day time.
82. You can wait an hour in 20 below and survive unharmed, and without seeing a hospital. (Courtesy of the loonie).
83. Fuel cells are miniature nuclear bombs that explode when damaged.
84. By extension, fusion bombs use the simple isotope of hydrogen.
85. Further still fuel cells "explode easily".
86. Still further, common hydrogen is unstable.
87. Titanium is unbreakable.
88. Spaceships are made of titanium. (Because it is unbreakable.)
89. Wooden doors, chairs, tables, and cars all stop bullets.
90. C4 blows up when shot.
91. The AK repeatedly clicks when empty and the trigger is pulled.

[Mr.Black97]

92.We will be invaded by aliens in the future
93.African Americans & Latinos always carry guns
94.Middle Aged men can climb buildings & fight off thugs
95.Guns dont have to be reloaded
96.There is a killer in the woods
97.The cheer leader always dies
98.Dreams come true
99.Medusa always gets her head chopped off
100.We will soon be eaten by zombies
101.A spider bite gives you spider powers
102.If you make a deal with the devil you will live to murder teenagers
103.All Latinos are garden workers
104.The president is white
105.Sea monsters attack ships

[Psychoman]

This list is funny, and quite true. One thing I've always hated about movies is people run around without hearing protection while guns are going off around them and they can still hear after. Once I shot on an M4 range, just two 30 round mags, and forgot my hearing protection. Everyone had the volume turned down and had robot voices. Took a few days to recover.

Anyway, these are my comments on some of the points made.

38. I've done it and had it done to me.

39. While not entirely true, it's very hard unless done in certain places. At least for me. Crook of the elbow is easiest but I've heard it done in the foot for elderly people who's veins are weaker than young people.

50. If assembled and worn properly, it will filter breathing air in and sweat and condensation out. And if you're in full MOPP 4 gear, then you're supposedly invulnerable to Chemical, Biological, Nuclear, and Radiological attacks. That's according to the good old Army Tech Manuals.

70. I do it to make sure the rounds are lined up right to prevent them from feeding incorrectly.

71. We call them "Nine Mills".

72. Train for the worst case scenerio.

73. It can be done.

78. I have a shotty in my breach kit.

89. Depends on the caliber, and vehicle, really. It's not impossible or unbelievable, either way, to me. I bet a .50 cal round would go through, but 5.56 might stop short somewhere along the way. I can tell you 7.62 won't go through a bus, long ways.

93. Actually, they do.

101. A spider bite gave me a huge pussy bleedy tumor, one time. No special powers, though.

103. No, some are dry wallers.

[E-Stalin [Orthrus]]

Dec 21, 2010 18:04:47 GMT -5 Psychoman said:

This list is funny, and quite true. One thing I've always hated about movies is people run around without hearing protection while guns are going off around them and they can still hear after. Once I shot on an M4 range, just two 30 round mags, and forgot my hearing protection. Everyone had the volume turned down and had robot voices. Took a few days to recover.

First off dude, welcome back and hats off to ya. The fact that you went all the way through with it and got through it is exactly the kind of person I want trying to get in. You wouldn't believe the number of kids walking into our own recruiting office wanting force recon after playing some games and then quitting after one PT. So I applaud you hugely.

Anyhoo, yup. I used to go hunting without hearing protection and it doesn't hit the ears quite as much when you see a rabbit going. I'm guessing it's an adrenaline issue, but it sure as hell screwed my hearing afterward. Were ringing in the morning.

38. I've done it and had it done to me.

Ouuuuch. Now I'm curious though, how'd you manage that? I mean, was there any head-shaking involved or just solid pressure? Because I got bit once with only bruising, and then tested it out on myself like some freak and couldn't get through the skin. So I figured that without some kind of shaking motion involved, humans couldn't do it. That or I have some weak-ass jaws.

39. While not entirely true, it's very hard unless done in certain places. At least for me. Crook of the elbow is easiest but I've heard it done in the foot for elderly people who's veins are weaker than young people.

Well it's all about the context where I read the misconception, and also whether the injection is supposed to be muscle or IV. I mean, IM has always gone in the deltoid for me, IV in the elbow, but that's done for the sake of convenience. The particular misconception I listed regarded stabbing someone with a syrette using a fictional intramuscular sedative. Point being if it's intramuscular, there is no "just right place" but any generally safe muscle mass. Deltoids, ass-cheeks, thigh, whatever will do right?

50. If assembled and worn properly, it will filter breathing air in and sweat and condensation out. And if you're in full MOPP 4 gear, then you're supposedly invulnerable to Chemical, Biological, Nuclear, and Radiological attacks. That's according to the good old Army Tech Manuals.

Exactly the point mate. You need MOPP or some other kind of chemical gear to do it. Without that, a gas mask won't help since the nerve agent will just screw you through skin contact.
I haven't specified any of the context where I nabbed these points on the forums, which is why they can seem justifiable when reading through them. The case here was of course, no chem gear whatsoever beyond a gas-mask.

70. I do it to make sure the rounds are lined up right to prevent them from feeding incorrectly.

Yup. Not to ensure they're full. And by the way, that brings up a question I want to ask you. Do you only need to do that with AR-15 style magazines? I've only shot Com-bloc, and it seems impossible for the rounds in them to be tilted out of place. Something to do with the followers being level or whatnot apparently. Could you explain wtf is up with that to me?

71. We call them "Nine Mills".

The dude here literally thought that 9mm was a specific handgun, just like 1911s. Funny as hell I can tell you.

72. Train for the worst case scenerio.

73. It can be done.

The problem with this entire discussion is that it's simply huge. We could have suuuuch a long debate over this that you could easily write a whole book on it.
Long story short, after a hell of a lot of work and training with the issue, I've concluded that it's virtually impossible to disarm any attacker, or even survive against any attacker, that knows what he's doing with a knife.
However, most of what we see with knife-work isn't how people actually use them when they're trying to kill you. I mean, what do we see in movies and karate classes? The guy always leads with the knife hand, never uses his empty hand, never retracts his knife hand from the thrust, and tries to resist.
Yet when you've got a guy prison-yard charging you, what happens? His knife hand stays down by his ribs where you can't get at it, and you get his empty hand slapping you at the face, screwing with your vision and whatnot while he's trying to stab you, and you can't grab at his knife-hand or wrist since it's all over the frickin' place and constantly retracting back out of reach faster than you can get at it, and even if you do grab it he can twist it out of your grip or punch you with his other hand....and so on and so on. If you grab his arm with both your hands, his empty hand goes at your throat and face. If you grab his knife with one hand, he can just slap your arm away or twist it out with his empty hand.
It's just a total cluster-fuck.

So can it be done? I'd say certainly, but only against people that don't know what they're doing. Namely, guys that lead and thrust with the knife, don't use their support hands much, and aren't insanely aggressive psychos trying to pummel you like a crackhead. But when shit hits the fan and the guy is reeeeally trying to kill you, it's just about impossible to do it. Not without getting gutted anyway.
Either way, like I said, this is a huuuuuuuuge long debate with a not quite little controversy involved. Sooo...hell, if you'd like to chat about it sometime in PM or some thread, that'd be cool.

78. I have a shotty in my breach kit

Shotguns are great. That is to say, modern pump or semis. 870s, 590s, or 1300s. Buuut, those aren't sawn-off double barrels now are they?

89. Depends on the caliber, and vehicle, really. It's not impossible or unbelievable, either way, to me. I bet a .50 cal round would go through, but 5.56 might stop short somewhere along the way. I can tell you 7.62 won't go through a bus, long ways.

Far as cars go, depends on where the bullet goes. Engine block will stop it, but just about everything else won't. Older cars are better since they had thicker metal doors, but these days car doors are a very thin sheet of metal with insulation inside. It's about as effective cover as your interior house wall. A jacketed .22 rimfire will punch straight through one side door and into the car, while anything from .223 to 7.62x39 will go through one side and out the other. You can even find videos on the stuff, pretty cool really.
As for stuff like buses, Humvees, heavy trucks and whatnot, I've no real idea what goes through and what won't. I know x39mm will still punch through Humvees without trouble though...but then again, I've no idea how heavily armored those things were. I don't know if you guys are carrying armor plating in the doors now or not, but guys with AKs have been ripping into them since '04 at least. But for the cars you see on the street everyday, I can attest with certainty that they'll turn to swiss cheese in a firefight.

[Psychoman]

Heh, I was bit in Highschool. I dared someone they wouldn't do it and they sure did. Bit my thumb as hard as they could. I was smacking him in the face trying to get him to let go and when he did blood ran down my arm. It surely hurt.

It was far from easy for me, and I learned alot about myself and life so far, but I'm glad for the time I've invested and looking forward to the final year and some change I have left. When I first joined, back two and a half years ago or so, I was definetly not prepared mentally, physically or emotionally. It was tough for me. But the only thing that got me through, and led me to be successful was the only thing you truely HAVE to have to do well in the Army, determination. I refused to give up, and now I'm proud to say I'm in a bad ass scout platoon. I'm not a sniper, but I still love my job (Some days, hehe).

And, your recruiting office? Are you a recruiter, military or civilian? Prior service? I notice many of your posts reflect a decent knowledge of weapons and how the military actually works so I would be inclined to believe it.

And I wasn't arguing for the common belief that you can easily disarm a person with a knife. I couldn't really talk about it like it's something I've done. Never fought anyone who had a knife. I would imagine if you walked away from such a fight, you'd be very lucky, seeing how easy it would be to kill someone with even a dull blade. But they are starting combatives training with tazers to simulate knives, and offline (Unofficialy) our NCO's will show us ways to disarm individuals, however unlikely it is you'll go hand to hand with someone. But any REAL fight you get in, you're going to have some bruises and scratches and wounds, if you win or lose. But that's another discussion.

And any magazine really needs a tap or two on the K-pot to make sure the rounds are as far back to the back as they can go in there, because they all have a little wiggle room. And also you should empty your mags and take them apart every so often and stretch the spring out so it doesn't get too weak being compressed constantly (If you keep them loaded).

We have up armored humvees these days. Big square reactive armor plates all over the doors. Same with the Bradleys. Nothing short of a EFP or a dumptruck of HME will penetrate it. Especially on a caiman MRAP or Bradley.

[E-Stalin [Orthrus]]

On the military issue, nothing that badass. Just a poolee in DEP waiting to ship out. Been here for a few months, and got to see some new guys walk in and talk. Most of them are cool, but the number of youngsters that walk right in and say, "I want to be Recon" or "special forces" are unsettling. Especially if they don't seem to know what recon actually does. One time a guy came in with his mother who told the station commander, "He plays call of duty."
You should have seen the look on the man's face. The guy literally thought that recon platoons are just like what call of duty portrayed them as.
Far as weaponry goes, I'm just a gun nut. Started hunting and shooting sometime around 6-8 years old, and went up from there.

Knife-wise, yeah I get where you're coming from. Winning hurts too. Best thing I found was to just get a buddy with a sheathed knife and try to kill eachother. Don't try to practice disarms, but just spar with them. Let him do his best to get a good hit in, and you try to do whatever you can to either evade or fight back. Was how I started anyway, and quickly ended up 'dying' each and every single time.
Whereas the so called "knife defense" we were taught in Karate consisted of, "Bad guy lunges forward with knife, then stands there with his hand forward like a moron while you get him in a wrist-lock and twist".
The entire "training" was set-up to allow us to disarm the attacker, and therefore making us think we could do it in reality. After really going at eachother though, I find it rather scary that so many kids are taught that and believe it.

The only real mag issues we've had were with pistol magazines. This being bloody california, we don't own anything with box mags aside from those. Mostly it just came down to keeping them clean. Took one apart and it was absolutely jam-packed with crud so it wouldn't feed. Learned to clean them along with the guns themselves. Only other issue was bent-feed lips on a used mag that stopped the slide from stripping the round off. Fixed it with pliers


In the meantime, I have run out of stuff to find on this forum, and as such have moved on to find stuff on a different forum I attend.
I'm surprised the list has grown as much as it has anyway. I'll see what I can pull up and post it later.

[E-Stalin [Orthrus]]

Well, after a long while of searching I finally managed to get a few more from this forum for the list, but ran out at five. So I moved on to another forum I frequent to keep the list going, but I am running out of material to keep the updates length.
Frankly I'm very surprised that this list has grown as long as it is.


92. Passive thermal imaging can see through walls and smoke.
93. Sonar can see through walls.
94. You can safely smoke cigars or cigarettes before HALO jumps without any ill effects.
95. HALO jumpers breath compressed air.
96. You can dive to an underwater depth of thirty meters while breathing pure oxygen.
97. The SC20k is a real rifle.
98. You can surgically implant metal spikes or impact plates into your knuckles.
99. You can suppress a common revolver.
100. Generic body armor can repeatedly stop bullets from any cartridge with no detrimental effect on the wearer whatsoever.
101. Lever action weapons can be "flip-cocked" a la terminator style.
102. The Desert Eagle is a remotely decent handgun.
103. Flamethrowers can be safely fired without wearing any protective gear.
104. Flamethrowers explode if the fuel-tanks are shot.
105. An EMP will render ACOGs non-functional.
106. Bullets can pass down into bodies of water and remain lethal.
107. RPGs are slow-flying projectiles with smoke trails leading back to the shooter.
108. All bombs are large, complicated things with much wiring, flashing lights, and beeping sounds.
109. Modern dog-tags jingle.
110. Shooting or otherwise destroying keypad locks will open or seal doors from the other side.
111. AK bolts can be locked open.
112. Any computer can be wireless cracked.
113. Pistol-grips are desirable. (They increase accuracy, rate of fire, ease of handling, reduce recoil, and are cool.)

114. You blow up upon being vented into a vacuum. (Completely forgot about this until reminded by someone....)
115. Cauterizing wounds is the absolutely superior method of stopping bleeding.

And here is the probable end of the entire list. I don't think there's much else that can be discovered. At least, not enough to make a new list without making a two sentence post.
As such I bid this thread farewell.