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Post by econdha on Mar 11, 2006 20:48:30 GMT -5
*hands out party hats with tassles that look like bloody entrails*
I'm sure there will be lots of speeches about all the fear, suffering and death you've caused in all the years you've lurked the planet. I'm sure this will be an unrivaled festival of death such as has not been seen at the Hunted.
*brings out the angelfood cake, which says 'Only the Good Die Young'* HAPPY 88TH BIRTHDAY, COLONEL!!
Ok, I guess that's my bit, General, the stage is yours.
*goes to sample the Mt Dew in the punchbowl*
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Post by Sara on Mar 11, 2006 21:09:10 GMT -5
Jeeze, I knew you liked the older guys, but I didn't know you were a grave robber ;P
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Post by econdha on Mar 11, 2006 21:13:28 GMT -5
...Freddy....Kroenen...Thanatos...
There's not a SINGLE living male on that list.
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Post by Sara on Mar 11, 2006 21:20:20 GMT -5
Just be sure to spray and disinfect when you finish!
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Post by econdha on Mar 11, 2006 21:22:40 GMT -5
Bleachwater. It's GOOD stuff. Besides, CK is in pretty good shape, as respects...decay.
Colonel: Decay... Me? Actually, all my organs and orginal living flesh has been replaced by machines, rather then a few that are just being kept alive by, you guessed it, machines. I've died countless times, yes, but I've removed and replaced all organs and body parts that were old enough and dead long enough to suffer the natural act of decaying...
Still reading?
PS: Sorry for editting your post, I meant to click 'quote' not 'edit'.
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Post by Col. Kroenen (retired) on Mar 11, 2006 21:27:29 GMT -5
The good die young. The mean are immortal.
Gatorade is my body sweat. Remember that.
I dont know, I just felt like saying that.
This is a wonder day to remember, as 88 years ago today, the Black Plague cursed the nations. May it be remembered always.
[Sits back in his thrown, a random pet of his massaging his shoulders.] Now, in celebration of this day, and for my viewing pleasures... you will all be bound and gutted alive. Except for a selected few of you. General, Joker, Lt, Sara, and Halflife do not have to suffer the same doom. Lt, strut. General, do the Robot. Joker, just keep doing a good job on Hunted. Sara, go get me some of that Mt. Dew. Halflife, go stand on your head and light your feet on fire. Chop, chop.
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Post by econdha on Mar 11, 2006 21:32:41 GMT -5
*struts her stuff wearing tight purple vinyl that would make Catwoman envious*
Whatever you ask, Master. *winks*
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Post by Spike on Mar 11, 2006 21:37:45 GMT -5
Happy Birthday, Colonel .... GUTTED ALIVE?! Why me? What did I do?
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Post by econdha on Mar 11, 2006 21:42:20 GMT -5
It's not like you haven't been gutted alive before. Remember that 'sandcastle' incident?
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Post by Col. Kroenen (retired) on Mar 11, 2006 21:43:20 GMT -5
Happy Birthday, Colonel .... GUTTED ALIVE?! Why me? What did I do? You did nothing. But I do enjoy watching a poor worthless sap get gutted. Nothing personal, but my visual pleasure is more important then your pathetic feelings.
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Post by Spike on Mar 11, 2006 21:50:51 GMT -5
I don't really give a shit if I get killed. Hell I wouldn't be begging for mercy if I get gutted, I would just fight back no matter how much pain I'm in.
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Post by The General on Mar 11, 2006 22:27:56 GMT -5
*stalks into the room, a a leather leash in his hand that trails out the doorway* Happy Birthday, Colonel! I...don't really know how someone like you even has a birthday, being....dead....and all. Anyway, it's not everyday a crusty old bastard like you has a birthday, so let's celebrate! First of all - *walks forward and tugs on the leash lightly, and one by one 5 virgins dressed in tight black leather suits, each one sporting an exact replica of both Kroenens trench coat and hat, file into the room, each one holding a neatly wrapped present in hand* I got you these - the girls of course - and on top of that, they each have a gift from me to you. *The first girl hands him his first present* It's a hat, and it looks exactly like the one you have on now...but its actually very different. I've had it "stained" in a special substance that makes it overly resilient to fire, acid, wind, rain and overall damaging elements. Not indestructible, mine you, but close to it. *The second girl slowly moves forward, seating her present down as well* That one, is a deed. You now own the 6 jewel planets that ring this galaxy, they aren't incredibly large, but they are however, rich in both minerals and resources that I think you would like. *The third girl moves forward* This one, is one of the ones I think you'll enjoy. The funds to build at least three factories on each of your newly acquired planets, and at least one on the surrounding moons. *Fourth girl walks up* This is merely a pair of new boots, and as similar to the hat, they have been equally treated. *drags one of the boots against the ground and then holds it up* See? No scuff marks. *Fifth and final girl walks up* Now I realize this isn't much, but I decided to throw it anyway. Not only does this package contain my blueprints, but the blueprints of every sentient droid this army has. I figured you could use those to make some twisted machination. Well, there's your birthday gifts from me, hope you like them .
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Post by Col. Kroenen (retired) on Mar 11, 2006 22:52:34 GMT -5
General, thats the best present I've ever had. But... You still havent done the Robot.
Oh, and once you're done with that, can you gut Toxin alive, please? Thanks, you're a doll. Now someone bring me my spell book and some black candles. And some blades, plenty of blades. I gotta put these virgins to some use.
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Post by Spike on Mar 11, 2006 22:55:17 GMT -5
Heh. Gut me. HA HA HA! ;D
d O.O;b
*I run away before anyone tries to gut me.*
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Post by econdha on Mar 11, 2006 23:26:37 GMT -5
*watches Spike trip and land face down on an unfortunately placed sharp object sticking out of the ground*
Ouch...*takes him to the medical center*
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Post by Spooky on Mar 12, 2006 0:10:41 GMT -5
*struts her stuff wearing tight purple vinyl that would make Catwoman envious* Whatever you ask, Master. *winks* *Shutters, jumping back two meters* What the *pauk* are you wearing? You couldn't look more... More giving. Get it off, for the sake of all things living. *Hands out blindfolds* EDIT: Oh, happy birthday, Kroenen . I didn't know what to get you, so I just got you a stripper. It always seems to do .
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Post by Cyclone on Mar 12, 2006 9:26:07 GMT -5
Happy birthday! I got ya a new stainless edge blade, especialy used by kroenen, Now, I wish I had some more rum...
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Post by Hannibal on Mar 12, 2006 11:06:49 GMT -5
Happy birth day dude...congrats on getting older now..*laughs maniacally* "MWAH HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!
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Post by econdha on Mar 12, 2006 19:24:01 GMT -5
Happy birthday! I got ya a new stainless edge blade, especialy used by kroenen, Now, I wish I had some more rum... It's a good thing you don't, this is a dry Bday party. Oh and Michael *takes it off* *wink*
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Post by Col. Kroenen (retired) on Mar 12, 2006 21:02:21 GMT -5
Happy birthday! I got ya a new stainless edge blade, especialy used by kroenen, Now, I wish I had some more rum... You got me... a new strainless edge blade, that is especailly used by... myself.... Well gee, thanks... Im sure in the fight of survival and domination in the Star Wars galazy, the stainless steel blade will do great against a lightsaber.
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