Night Of The Vampyres:Chapter 1

[Cyclone]

This is the First chapter in a five chapter book, don't expect constant updates tho, as it takes time for these things to develop, oh, and DONT SUE me for cliffhangers

Night of The Vampires Chapter 1: Rise of the Prince
At last, with a final time of peace, Jen hastily scribbled a note and left it in the coffin. She grasped her blade, then kicked the door open to face her fate. 7 years later, the teenage boy named Vance trudged through the ashes of some destroyed house he had found. It was his nineteenth birthday, marking his coronation as a royal SpellSword of the wizard's circle. He had been training for ten years, but he still felt nervous. Two of his friends had died during their coronations, and Vance's own father died at the tests. As he walked through, pondering about his life ahead and the girl he loved, he hit a wall by accident. When he recovered from the fall, he saw something shine in the ashened floor. He walked toward it and brushed some of the dust off, revealing a thick glass trapdor. It didn't appear to have a handle, but when Vance crawled a bit closer, it shattered, and light shot out of the hole, than, faded. Vance jumped in and shook some dust off. Something caught his eye right away. It was a large stone coffin at the end of the room, which itself, looked eerily like a tomb. Vance gripped his sword, then proceeded towards the coffin. Before he could even touch it though, the cover exploded out, and Vance was blasted backwards by some sort of beam. Vance looked up. Everything died out as quickly as it happened, and soon, there was silence again. Vance peeked his head into the coffin and found an extremely skeletal corpse, with a gaunt face. Vance searched the skeleton, and found a couple of jewelry, junk, a stake, a strange fang, and a crumpled note. Vance read it aloud as if he were adventuring with a couple of other friends. "Heir... Death... Restore the prince.... beam... vampyre...You... Jen." most of the note was unreadable, but at what Vance could make of it, he thought it was some sort of desperate call. He saw a couple more letters under the skeleton, and read them until he finally pieced it all together. Three thousand years ago began the age of Vampyres, an ancient civilization based on secrecy. When the new age started in dreavania, the Vampyres had to become obscure and blend in. When they were exposed however, the empire fell. The other countries exposed to the threat, revolted and attacked the vampyres. They were hunted down, until one night, the Vampyre Prince, Trancez Azalian, called the remaining Vampyres and ordered them to diffrent Death Tombs, to fulfill an ancient prophecy. Trancez sacrificed himself to save the Tanslyvania tower, and soon, his death would reach all the vampyres. They each died and lit an unholy symbol, that reached out. All of the tombs were caved in. One last vampyre, by the name of Jen, lived through, and fled to Hindaril Keep where she built on the tomb. She managed to contain the souls into the remains of the first vampyre here at the keep, but as she sealed the Vampyre contract, the army reached the keep. She scrawled the note down, then disappeared from known existence after being struck by a torch. And now, Vance, has been binded, his blood is forfeit,
and he is the heir to an unstoppable empire, Vance thirsts for blood....

EDIT:added chapter title, fixed some spelling errors

[Terminator|±The_Destroyer±]

That's pretty cool, man! it seems like everyone can write their own book except for me... drat.

[bloodedyautja]

wow dude thats really good. I have a HUGE love for vampires in all forms or backgorunds. I thought it would be a rubbish vamp try out stroy but you've lived up to my love of vampires. I'm impressed. really good by the way.

[Cyclone]

tommy said:

That's pretty cool, man! it seems like everyone can write their own book except for me... drat.

Well, keep working on your own book, my first book was supposed to be a predator one, but I failed to deliver. It ended in the second chapter, as I forgot to update, But don't worry, Ill try to keep this book alive, and Shadowstalker, thanks for the comment, I'm glad I managed to satisfy, although in later chapters, you'll learn its not exactly the classic vampire, although you'll still recognize it as one. I promise that I'll add a fight in the next one, and the next chapter will be longer than this one, most likely.

And here's a little feature about how Vance looks: Vance looks more like he's seventeen in height and slightly in build. His hair is always kept either spiked, or ruffled, and is usually brown, although Vance uses magic to change it every now and then. His eyes were dark emerald eyes, but since the blast, they have started to become looking more feral, and red. It isn't all the way though. Vance's skin used to be a light peach, with perfect complexion, but it has turned paler, although the diffrence is subtle. His fangs are two teeth away from each other, but they are small. Vance is also a little more gaunt, but as with the skin, the diffrences are subtle.

I'll be putting up features atleast once for every chapter, and atleast two for the grand finale

[Adara]

It certainly has promise. I'd recommend though, putting spaces in between your paragraphs and seperating your dialogue from your descriptive stuff. It makes it far easier to read.

Also, if you are going to make this story only five chapters, you may want to work on the description. It reads a bit more like an essay than it does a short "novel" or "novelette."