Love (a poem for my BF Ben.H)

[Nrak'Ytara]

This is for the love of my life Benjamin.H.jr (He is the 3rd)

Love is an everlasting thing,
it flows through a couple like the wind and the sea.
It's an everlasting thing., never ending, never dieing, it's always flowing.
Love makes us cry when we are mad at each other, reminding us how much we love one another.
You can't stop love and it wont ever die.
Love is when you are crying and someone rushes to comfort you,
Love is always around.
In the air, In the flowers, through everything that has life.
Love is an everlasting thing.
My love for you will never wither or die.
I'll love you when your old and your hair is gray.
Love is an everlasting thing.
It binds around a couples hearts like a snake, never letting go.
Love is an everlasting thing,
it flows through a couple like the wind and the sea.
It's an everlasting thing, never ending, never dieing, it's always flowing.
My love is everlasting and always flowing.
I love you.

I made that for my boyfriend on Friday. All of it was done in 10-16 minutes tops.
It might not be the best poem ever, but it's the 1st one I have made in forever.

["Cookie"]

If someone makes me an lovepoem...it is already "best ever".
When it is made by the one you love and who loves you and with love, that is already enough.

So consider this as a first-try masterpiece.

If you want to search for inspiration for more poems for your boyfriend or to whom ever. I suggest you listen to the Finlands greatest band ever, HIM. They have awesome lyrics and they are the best Love Metal band in the world ;>

[Nrak'Ytara]

Thanks for the impute ^_^. I love HIM by the way. ^_^
Again thank you for the advise, critique, and the impute ^_^

["Cookie"]

May 18, 2010 22:56:26 GMT -5 Nrak'Ytara said:

Thanks for the impute ^_^. I love HIM by the way. ^_^
Again thank you for the advise, critique, and the impute ^_^

Major awesomeness dudette!

All I'm sayin' that, if you get that poem vein pumpin'...let it rip and keep adding them!

[Still Churchill]

Jan 16, 2010 21:09:38 GMT -5 Nrak'Ytara said:

Love is an everlasting thing,
it flows through a couple like the wind and the sea.
It is an everlasting thing, never ending, never dying, it is always flowing.
Love makes us cry when we are mad at each other, reminding us of how much we love one another.
You cannot stop love and it will never die.
Love is when you are crying and someone rushes to comfort you,
Love is always around.
In the air, In the flowers, through everything that has life.
Love is an everlasting thing.
My love for you will never wither or die.
I'll love you when your old and your hair is gray.
Love is an everlasting thing.
It binds around a couple's hearts like a snake, never letting go.
Love is an everlasting thing,
it flows through a couple like the wind and the sea.
It is an everlasting thing, never ending, never dying, it is always flowing.
My love is everlasting and always flowing.

I went through and corrected your spelling mistakes, changed the contractions as I don't really like to see those in poetry, changed the words "won't ever" to "will never," and deleted the last line of "I love you" as I felt that to be a little bit cheesy and the entire poem itself implies that you love him.

Now that my criticism as a little bit of a poet is out of the way, I would like to congratulate you on a job well done. It is very good, and the poem itself is not cheesy or contrived in anyway, it is simply beautiful. I hope you won't take the criticism above harshly that I changed your art, however, I feel that those changes would make the poem better. I think you should continue to write poems, as they are wonderful when done correctly, and you have the talent as displayed here to write great things. Also I wish that you would share them here as I feel they are very good, and the best writing that's come through my section here, the off-topic writings, in a very long time. Thank you for sharing that, and you have a lot of talent, and this was a great love poem. If anyone gave me a poem like this that I loved, I would only love them more.