Post by lieutenant on Sept 26, 2011 18:06:54 GMT -5
This review contains four letter words.
I just finished watching the Nightmare on Elm Street reboot.
I thought the music was distracting. It didn't seemlessly mesh into the background and heighten the effect of the scenes like music is supposed to.
Let's be honest. Freddy's makeup was just AWFUL. He looked like the alien lizard from Soldier. His mouth was WAY to wide and flat, enhancing the lizard effect. And the makeup on his lips didn't move when he talked. Which was just super distracting. I barely heard any of his lines because I was staring at his lips thinking, "What was this makeup artist doing?!" Frankly, when the makeup is so bad that you notice that it's makeup, somebody needs to get fired.
In this case, the casting director is the one who needs to be taken out in the street and shot. It was clearly his intention that an older franchise could benefit from a shot of "currently hot" blood. But Jackie Earle Haley was just a BAD choice. His voice was not at all scary, it was inconsistant, even when he was Freddy. He has a weak chin which just emphasized the unfortunateness of the makeup.
Robert Englund is a good looking guy with the makeup off, and his face really comes through with the full faced mask so he can emote. Jackie Earle Haley just doesn't have strong enough features to make a full face mask work for him. With the original Freddy K, the audience could see his facial expressions. The new Freddy is making a frog face THE ENTIRE TIME.
Also, and this is completely just my own personal prejudice, whereas the above it unbiased assesment. This actor is a dog. When we see him without makeup, it's embarresing. He's a stringy little weasel.
But maybe my bias is partially based in the fact that without any rival, I would recommend Ray Parks (Toad from X-men) as the new Freddy. He's athletic enough and has the same kind of vibe as the original Freddy.
You don't need to improve Freddy, he's the baddest badass of them all for a reason.
Now, as to the rest. I thought the scenery was delicious.
The actors who played the teens were good choices, not too pretty and, except the chick who played Nancy, not to ugly. They actually look like a collection of kids you might run across.
I liked the heightened intensity of the storyline. I have a friend who was worried that they were making Freddy too sympathetic with that "I'm innocent" line. But at the end we find out, yes, he really is the complete monster.
I had to compare the kill scenes between the original and the remake. I have to admit, I was annoyed when they skipped Nancy's bathtub scene in preference for that walk in the snow scene. But, honestly, the original bathtub scene didn't add much to the movie, or further the storyline, really. So I can forgive them taking that out.
The bedroom scene where Kris dies loses out 100 to 1 against the bedroom scene where Tina dies in the original. It's not as gory, it's not as poignient and it's certainly not as horrifying.
I REALLY liked Jesse's death scene more than Rod's death scene. Especially the line about 'we still have 6 minutes to play.'
Now lets talk about the parents. If you recall my review of my first watching of the original Nightmare, you'll recall that I thought by far the creepiest scene in the original was when Nancy's mom tells her "It's ok, mommy killed him."
Nancy's talk with her mom got me moving in this one, too. This time it wasn't creepy, it just p*ssed me the h*ll off. The original Nightmare came out in the mid 80's, I can accept that parents back then didn't know how to deal with their children being molested, it wasn't a well known phenomenon, yet. But for a parent in a 2009 movie to not have the slightest f*cking clue about how to deal with a child being molested, that's unforgivable. Watch a f*cking after school special, Gwen! Repression makes the abuse fester. Forced repression is just sick. SICK! I admit I cheered when Freddy skullf*cks her with the glove at the end. Maybe if you parents hadn't done exactly the opposite of what you should have done, namely forcing your kids to hide the memories, instead of dealing with them, your kids wouldn't be a stoner, a psycho and a bunch of sluts. Not to mention, DEAD.
*inhales and gets her calm back* Anyway.
So, this is my review of the movie I have watched most recently. I am now considering watching Watchmen, just to see if Jackie Earle Haley is actually awful, or if I'm just pissed at him for daring to be Freddy.
This is Lieutenant, signing off.
I just finished watching the Nightmare on Elm Street reboot.
I thought the music was distracting. It didn't seemlessly mesh into the background and heighten the effect of the scenes like music is supposed to.
Let's be honest. Freddy's makeup was just AWFUL. He looked like the alien lizard from Soldier. His mouth was WAY to wide and flat, enhancing the lizard effect. And the makeup on his lips didn't move when he talked. Which was just super distracting. I barely heard any of his lines because I was staring at his lips thinking, "What was this makeup artist doing?!" Frankly, when the makeup is so bad that you notice that it's makeup, somebody needs to get fired.
In this case, the casting director is the one who needs to be taken out in the street and shot. It was clearly his intention that an older franchise could benefit from a shot of "currently hot" blood. But Jackie Earle Haley was just a BAD choice. His voice was not at all scary, it was inconsistant, even when he was Freddy. He has a weak chin which just emphasized the unfortunateness of the makeup.
Robert Englund is a good looking guy with the makeup off, and his face really comes through with the full faced mask so he can emote. Jackie Earle Haley just doesn't have strong enough features to make a full face mask work for him. With the original Freddy K, the audience could see his facial expressions. The new Freddy is making a frog face THE ENTIRE TIME.
Also, and this is completely just my own personal prejudice, whereas the above it unbiased assesment. This actor is a dog. When we see him without makeup, it's embarresing. He's a stringy little weasel.
But maybe my bias is partially based in the fact that without any rival, I would recommend Ray Parks (Toad from X-men) as the new Freddy. He's athletic enough and has the same kind of vibe as the original Freddy.
You don't need to improve Freddy, he's the baddest badass of them all for a reason.
Now, as to the rest. I thought the scenery was delicious.
The actors who played the teens were good choices, not too pretty and, except the chick who played Nancy, not to ugly. They actually look like a collection of kids you might run across.
I liked the heightened intensity of the storyline. I have a friend who was worried that they were making Freddy too sympathetic with that "I'm innocent" line. But at the end we find out, yes, he really is the complete monster.
I had to compare the kill scenes between the original and the remake. I have to admit, I was annoyed when they skipped Nancy's bathtub scene in preference for that walk in the snow scene. But, honestly, the original bathtub scene didn't add much to the movie, or further the storyline, really. So I can forgive them taking that out.
The bedroom scene where Kris dies loses out 100 to 1 against the bedroom scene where Tina dies in the original. It's not as gory, it's not as poignient and it's certainly not as horrifying.
I REALLY liked Jesse's death scene more than Rod's death scene. Especially the line about 'we still have 6 minutes to play.'
Now lets talk about the parents. If you recall my review of my first watching of the original Nightmare, you'll recall that I thought by far the creepiest scene in the original was when Nancy's mom tells her "It's ok, mommy killed him."
Nancy's talk with her mom got me moving in this one, too. This time it wasn't creepy, it just p*ssed me the h*ll off. The original Nightmare came out in the mid 80's, I can accept that parents back then didn't know how to deal with their children being molested, it wasn't a well known phenomenon, yet. But for a parent in a 2009 movie to not have the slightest f*cking clue about how to deal with a child being molested, that's unforgivable. Watch a f*cking after school special, Gwen! Repression makes the abuse fester. Forced repression is just sick. SICK! I admit I cheered when Freddy skullf*cks her with the glove at the end. Maybe if you parents hadn't done exactly the opposite of what you should have done, namely forcing your kids to hide the memories, instead of dealing with them, your kids wouldn't be a stoner, a psycho and a bunch of sluts. Not to mention, DEAD.
*inhales and gets her calm back* Anyway.
So, this is my review of the movie I have watched most recently. I am now considering watching Watchmen, just to see if Jackie Earle Haley is actually awful, or if I'm just pissed at him for daring to be Freddy.
This is Lieutenant, signing off.