Post by Steg'-in Paya on Sept 4, 2007 11:40:18 GMT -5
Ok i like this joke, but i guess its just my bad humor.
Man (Hank) walks into a pet store to purchase a pet since he has no partner, he sees his strange bird sitting in a cage and says "omg what a ugly bloody bird" to the bird replies "well your no brad pitt either", the man amazed stares back at the bird and says "did you just talk?
" the bird goes "what do you think idiot?". The man is so amazed he talks back to the bird and has a conversation with it asking it what it likes and how it got there, the bird also tells Hank that he does not talk to every one and that he only talks to people he thinks he can trust and Frank is the first person he has spoken too in nearly 2 years. The man notices that the bird has hardly any feathers on it and is rarther scared and asks him how he ended up like that, the bird replies "well not too long ago i was caught in a house fire, and this is all that is left of me, i have no feathers left and both my feet have been so damaged they cannot claw onto anything". The man is so amazed by the bird he asks "then how do you stay on you bar?" the bird asks him to come closer and reveals that for a bird he has a rarther long doodle, and wraps it around the poll to keep him there. So amazed by this bird the man buys it and takes it home.
After a few weeks him and the bird become good friends and share very deep and meaningful information with each other, as time goes by the Hank finally gets himself a girlfriend and tells the bird to which he is delited, but as a vow to their friend his Hank never tells his girl friend that the bird can talk so she does not try and sell him or hurt him.
One day Hank comes home to see his bird in the bottom of the cage fallen off his bar, he quickly drops everything and runs to his aid and puts him back on his bar. Hank ever so worried asks the bird what happened, the bird starts screaming loudly "Hank Hank you will never guess what i saw!!!!!!!", Hank calms him down and asks whats wrong, the bird replies "Hank you know how you left your girl friend here when you went to work?, well some thing happened" Hank asks "what?", "Well first the door bell rang, and as usuall i thought it was the milk man", "yeah so what" replies Hank. "well your girl friend came down and answered the door" Hank relpies " yeah so what im glad she did otherwise the milk would go off", the bird replies "Hank she came down wearing a see throught night gown!" Hank stops and looks at the bird and says "yeah and... she took the milk and closed the door." The bird replies "no Hank, she opened up the door and let him in". Hank to his suprise gets a little upset and asks what happened then? The bird goes on to tell him that once he got in he started to kiss her, Hank gets angry and demands to know more, the bird goes "yeah and he started to touch her all over". Hank goes "yeah and then what?!?!?!", "he then took off her bra and kissed her everywhere!!" said the bird, Hank screams "then what!!!!", "he then took her to your sofa right next to me and started to take off her knickers!!"replied the bird, Hank furious yells "what happened next!!!" to which the bird repiles "i dont know", Hank looks at him and goes "what the hell do you mean you dont know!!!!!!!!!" The bird looks at him and goes "im sorry man i got so exicted i cracked a fat and fell off my bar!".
LOL!!
Sorry if i offended any1, if its in bad taste please feel free to remove it.
Man (Hank) walks into a pet store to purchase a pet since he has no partner, he sees his strange bird sitting in a cage and says "omg what a ugly bloody bird" to the bird replies "well your no brad pitt either", the man amazed stares back at the bird and says "did you just talk?
" the bird goes "what do you think idiot?". The man is so amazed he talks back to the bird and has a conversation with it asking it what it likes and how it got there, the bird also tells Hank that he does not talk to every one and that he only talks to people he thinks he can trust and Frank is the first person he has spoken too in nearly 2 years. The man notices that the bird has hardly any feathers on it and is rarther scared and asks him how he ended up like that, the bird replies "well not too long ago i was caught in a house fire, and this is all that is left of me, i have no feathers left and both my feet have been so damaged they cannot claw onto anything". The man is so amazed by the bird he asks "then how do you stay on you bar?" the bird asks him to come closer and reveals that for a bird he has a rarther long doodle, and wraps it around the poll to keep him there. So amazed by this bird the man buys it and takes it home. After a few weeks him and the bird become good friends and share very deep and meaningful information with each other, as time goes by the Hank finally gets himself a girlfriend and tells the bird to which he is delited, but as a vow to their friend his Hank never tells his girl friend that the bird can talk so she does not try and sell him or hurt him.
One day Hank comes home to see his bird in the bottom of the cage fallen off his bar, he quickly drops everything and runs to his aid and puts him back on his bar. Hank ever so worried asks the bird what happened, the bird starts screaming loudly "Hank Hank you will never guess what i saw!!!!!!!", Hank calms him down and asks whats wrong, the bird replies "Hank you know how you left your girl friend here when you went to work?, well some thing happened" Hank asks "what?", "Well first the door bell rang, and as usuall i thought it was the milk man", "yeah so what" replies Hank. "well your girl friend came down and answered the door" Hank relpies " yeah so what im glad she did otherwise the milk would go off", the bird replies "Hank she came down wearing a see throught night gown!" Hank stops and looks at the bird and says "yeah and... she took the milk and closed the door." The bird replies "no Hank, she opened up the door and let him in". Hank to his suprise gets a little upset and asks what happened then? The bird goes on to tell him that once he got in he started to kiss her, Hank gets angry and demands to know more, the bird goes "yeah and he started to touch her all over". Hank goes "yeah and then what?!?!?!", "he then took off her bra and kissed her everywhere!!" said the bird, Hank screams "then what!!!!", "he then took her to your sofa right next to me and started to take off her knickers!!"replied the bird, Hank furious yells "what happened next!!!" to which the bird repiles "i dont know", Hank looks at him and goes "what the hell do you mean you dont know!!!!!!!!!" The bird looks at him and goes "im sorry man i got so exicted i cracked a fat and fell off my bar!".
LOL!!
Sorry if i offended any1, if its in bad taste please feel free to remove it.
